Choose Love Over Violence

People are so angry whether you are on the receiving end of gun violence, conducting the gun violence or are a bystander to the gun violence. We have been going through a lot for quite a while now, and especially in the last two and a half years and sadly it has changed the way we literally live.

Mentally and emotionally, many have been dealing with so much! Anxiety and depression can be residing in you or someone you know, and before we know it, it will be masked with anger. Experiencing mental illness is almost quite normal for us. Numbers are at an all time high.

You are not alone.

With that, self care has truly been dramatized and people have either jumped on the self care bandwagon and are finding that self care does not have to cost, OR people are refusing to “do self care” because everyone is doing it. So, here I am asking YOU, How are you taking care of yourself? How can you take better care of yourself? Is what you are doing now, hurting or helping you? Take a look at some of the habits you engage in daily, are they healthy habits or hurtful habits?

How you show up for yourself matters.

Jazzy Speaks

PAUSE!

It is time for us all to press PAUSE and really, truly, look within. Do your part for you! You matter. Your mental health matters. How you respond and react to the world around you matters. How you show up for yourself matters. How you show up for your significant other matters. How you show up for your kids matters. How you show up for your friends matters. How you show up for your co-workers matters. How you show up for a stranger… matters. What will you do THIS week, to take care of you? Check out my previous blog on self care tips for some ideas. Be well.

The best gift you can give yourself is love.

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Five Things You Should Be Doing to Cope with COVID

Mental health according to the World Health Organization, is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”. Since COVID, mental health has become less of a stigma. It honestly appears to have become a part of everyday conversation. People are asking or saying: “what are you doing for self care”, “how are you able to take care of yourself this week”, “did you take time for yourself today”, or “do something that brings you joy”.

Mental health…is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.”

Noam Shpancer, PhD

COVID has really taken a toll on many people all over the world mentally and has even resulted in some people’s death. Not only are those who test positive with COVID have other lasting effects physically from the virus, they are also affected mentally. Whether it be anxiety, guilt, depression, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), or mood disorders, COVID can have a lasting effect mentally if we do not prepare ourselves and actively take care of ourselves now.

How can we avoid anymore people dying because they are mentally ill? COVID is still slowly killing from the virus and killing people mentally and emotionally because of feelings of loneliness, separation, grief and suicidal thoughts/ideations.

I am focused on my health.

Fight back!

Here are FIVE things you could and should be doing to cope with COVID, whether you have been affected physically by the virus or not:

1. Connect with family and friends. Now that some restrictions are lifted, plan a safe outing with family or friends. And continue to use FaceTime, Zoom, Whatapp, or your favorite video calling app to stay connected with friends and family.
2. Take a walk. Get out of the house! Physical activity is necessary especially for those of us that are still working from home.
3. Laugh! You know the saying: laughter is medicine. Find a comedy show, a stand up show, or your favorite social media comic.
4. Turn off the news! We all know we are living in trying times right now and we do not have to continue to pump the negativity into our heads. Take a break from reading and watching the news. Fill your head with positivity and good news!
5. Allow yourself to feel. Many times we find ourselves going through the motions and forgetting to stop. Spend some time reflecting with yourself and making sure that you are being intentional with how you feel and getting the best out of your life experience. If you need help with this, reach out to a therapist or coach to help you.

I refuse to let my mind bully my body.

Remember! COVID is not going to last forever. Take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually starting now. Tap into those things that brought you joy before COVID and DO THEM.

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Car Pool Karaoke

When my spirits are low, COVID numbers are high, and the weather is trying to keep me inside, I jump in my car. I crank up my car, click on my favorite playlist, turn the volume up loud, and I sing, loudly and dance a little in my seat. Because this past week was a particularly dreary and a gray one literally and figuratively. So, I transformed my car into a car pool karaoke hour without the pooling. Grasping my fake microphone like Beyoncé did at Coachella, I performed my heart out to a crowd of one (my son of course). I performed my favorite car music hits from H.E.R to Rihanna to Wale. Those songs give me a boost when I need it, and this past week I needed a BIG one.

Is it 2022 yet?

There’s something about singing and dancing that, for me, invites sunshine in on rainy days. For you, pumping weights or drawing or baking or coloring or crafting or something more unusual may do the trick. Wherever your karaoke hour is and whoever your H.E.R, Rihanna or Wale may be, I hope you’ve found some healthy habits during COVID that bring you joy and peace. Just be sure that the activity of your choice does not bother your neighbors!

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Please leave a comment below and tell me what your favorite song is!

Reaction to Derrick Jaxn – Perspective

Wow…

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Take a step back, open your mind for a moment and remember that people have various types of motivation for what they do, especially on social media. This is also known as someone’s “WHY,” which means that I as a relationship coach, advocate it is my experiences that motivate and influence me to do what I am doing. If you have not read my Intro To Me, please do so.

The reason I decided to give a response to Derrick Jaxn’s video apology/truth is because of perspective. Derrick has been known as a huge social media icon: Mr. Relationship. He has provided content to his followers to include advice, books, games and weekly videos on how a man should and should not be in relationships and towards his woman.

Allow me to share my perspective. Scrolling through any social media site, you will find many responses and comments toward this couple, especially directed towards him. So allow me to walk you through my thoughts.

On one side I hear:

• You are a lie
• You’re a cheat
• All men cheat
• Everyone cheats
• You’ve been putting yourself on this pedestal as if you were the best example of what a man should be to his woman.
• There’s no hope

Another side I hear:

• You have given great advice and most of the time what drives someone to do what they do (as I stated earlier) is based on experience.

Perhaps if he had led with, “I was a cheater and I’m speaking from experience, let me help you be a better man in your relationships,” we would have been more receptive to hear and receive what he was saying.

The final side I hear:

• Great job for owning your truth and doing the work behind the scenes with your wife.
• Shout out to her for sticking by your side through your bs.

Although during the interview, I was feeling that her body language showed that she was “over it” for a lack of better words.

Focus on what you have going on with yourself and in your household before you judge.

Remember the open mind I asked you to have at the beginning? Great. I remind you to focus on what you have going on with yourself and in your household before you judge.

There’s so much to unravel through this situation and at the same time we will never know the entire story or truth and it’s not meant for us to anyway but based on what we do know, what can we learn from him? When you are passionate about something, in your “why” define your purpose and passion then share with your audience where that passion stems from and what was the “ah-ha” moment for defining your purpose? Transparency as you open up to your audience matters and allows you to immediately connect with your audience on a more purposeful level. After all, we are ALL HUMAN.

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