Choose Love Over Violence

People are so angry whether you are on the receiving end of gun violence, conducting the gun violence or are a bystander to the gun violence. We have been going through a lot for quite a while now, and especially in the last two and a half years and sadly it has changed the way we literally live.

Mentally and emotionally, many have been dealing with so much! Anxiety and depression can be residing in you or someone you know, and before we know it, it will be masked with anger. Experiencing mental illness is almost quite normal for us. Numbers are at an all time high.

You are not alone.

With that, self care has truly been dramatized and people have either jumped on the self care bandwagon and are finding that self care does not have to cost, OR people are refusing to “do self care” because everyone is doing it. So, here I am asking YOU, How are you taking care of yourself? How can you take better care of yourself? Is what you are doing now, hurting or helping you? Take a look at some of the habits you engage in daily, are they healthy habits or hurtful habits?

How you show up for yourself matters.

Jazzy Speaks

PAUSE!

It is time for us all to press PAUSE and really, truly, look within. Do your part for you! You matter. Your mental health matters. How you respond and react to the world around you matters. How you show up for yourself matters. How you show up for your significant other matters. How you show up for your kids matters. How you show up for your friends matters. How you show up for your co-workers matters. How you show up for a stranger… matters. What will you do THIS week, to take care of you? Check out my previous blog on self care tips for some ideas. Be well.

The best gift you can give yourself is love.

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25 Self Care Ideas to Kickstart Your New Self Care Routine

What do you do for self care?

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Self care is about self, you know the person you look in the mirror at daily? Yes, YOU! We tend to put ourselves at the bottom of our to do lists (or we are not even on the to do list at all) and neglect the need for filling up our cups. Self care is important because we cannot be our best selves for the family, friends, and co-workers around us if we are not taking time daily to care for ourselves. I know for me, in the past if I don’t make time for myself (at least ten minutes on a busy day) I will be no good to my family and will think about calling off work and curling up in my bed.

I approve of myself and love myself deeply and completely. I will make time for myself daily.

Jazzy Speaks

When you think about what would be on your list, think about those things that lift you up when you’re having a bad day, things that bring you joy, things that fill your emotional cup up in a way that no one else can.

Below you will find a list of 25 self care ideas that personally, I do myself. What works for me might not work for you. Check out this blog for additional tips. This list is just to help get you started or restarted on your self care routine. Remember, your goal is to find what works for you and stick to a routine. Consistency is key!

My favorite thing to do for self care is walking in nature with my son.

1. Cook breakfast for myself.
2. Do yoga. Switch it up and do yoga outside.
3. Listen to a favorite podcast or Ted Talk.
4. Wake up an hour before the entire household.
5. Turn on calming music and meditate (520 hz)
6. Meditate quietly
7. Take a long shower.
8. Do makeup.
9. Read a book.
10. Listen to a book on audible.
11. Scroll through funny videos on TikTok
12. Call a friend/family member who is not a Debbie downer but someone to lift spirits
13. Sit outside and listen to nature.
14. Go to the gym.
15. Complete a cycle class at the gym.
16. Go for a drive without a destination in mind.
17. Dress up and get cute without having a reason.
18. Bake a desert on my list and eat it!
19. Edit social media following. If they don’t bring me joy, DELETE.
20. Go for a walk.
21. Get a massage.
22. When grocery shopping, throw something in (a chocolate treat) for myself.
23. Cook a fancy steak dinner because I deserve a fancy meal.
24. Take a bath.
25. Watch a tv show that I am behind on.

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If you like what you are reading, please share, like and comment. Looking for other great topics? See recent blogs below.

• Choose Love Over Violence
  People are so angry whether you are on the receiving end of gun violence, conducting […]
• 25 Self Care Ideas to Kickstart Your New Self Care Routine
  Have you been neglecting yourself? It’s mental health awareness month and it is important for you to tap into yourself and what brings you joy in order to be your best self. Here are 25 Self Care ideas to kickstart you new self care routine.
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Rest Your Eyes

One of my biggest supporters, is my mom. My mom has seen me since I was in her womb. The first thing she looked at when she saw me was my eyes. Many times our eyes say more than the words out of our mouths. This was sent to me by her as a reminder to rest, and I share with you also. Take a moment, close your eyes, rest, reflect, and enjoy a moment of peace.

I shut my eyes in order to see.

Paul Gauguin

Brown Eyes

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical. – Sophia Loren

Your eyes, the windows to your soul, those beautiful brown dollops of color placed so strategically on your face.
Your eyes, that have seen so much, shed so many tears, smiled and laughed so much.
Your eyes work hard everyday to see, to observe, to watch, to read, to behold the beauty of each new sunrise and sunset.
As you live and love, your precious eyes and the soul and body they are attached to, remember to rest with sweet peace.

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Reaction to Derrick Jaxn – Perspective

Wow…

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Take a step back, open your mind for a moment and remember that people have various types of motivation for what they do, especially on social media. This is also known as someone’s “WHY,” which means that I as a relationship coach, advocate it is my experiences that motivate and influence me to do what I am doing. If you have not read my Intro To Me, please do so.

The reason I decided to give a response to Derrick Jaxn’s video apology/truth is because of perspective. Derrick has been known as a huge social media icon: Mr. Relationship. He has provided content to his followers to include advice, books, games and weekly videos on how a man should and should not be in relationships and towards his woman.

Allow me to share my perspective. Scrolling through any social media site, you will find many responses and comments toward this couple, especially directed towards him. So allow me to walk you through my thoughts.

On one side I hear:

• You are a lie
• You’re a cheat
• All men cheat
• Everyone cheats
• You’ve been putting yourself on this pedestal as if you were the best example of what a man should be to his woman.
• There’s no hope

Another side I hear:

• You have given great advice and most of the time what drives someone to do what they do (as I stated earlier) is based on experience.

Perhaps if he had led with, “I was a cheater and I’m speaking from experience, let me help you be a better man in your relationships,” we would have been more receptive to hear and receive what he was saying.

The final side I hear:

• Great job for owning your truth and doing the work behind the scenes with your wife.
• Shout out to her for sticking by your side through your bs.

Although during the interview, I was feeling that her body language showed that she was “over it” for a lack of better words.

Focus on what you have going on with yourself and in your household before you judge.

Remember the open mind I asked you to have at the beginning? Great. I remind you to focus on what you have going on with yourself and in your household before you judge.

There’s so much to unravel through this situation and at the same time we will never know the entire story or truth and it’s not meant for us to anyway but based on what we do know, what can we learn from him? When you are passionate about something, in your “why” define your purpose and passion then share with your audience where that passion stems from and what was the “ah-ha” moment for defining your purpose? Transparency as you open up to your audience matters and allows you to immediately connect with your audience on a more purposeful level. After all, we are ALL HUMAN.

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Self Discovery Nugget 6: Forgive – 3 Steps

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The sixth nugget: Forgive Yourself in 3 Steps

Sometimes what is holding us back at being the best version of ourselves is the person we see when we look in the mirror. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and had a conversation with yourself?

First, you must accept responsibility for what has happened to you and for the things you have done. Being open and honest with yourself for what you have faced or are facing can be very challenging. You want to avoid feeling guilty, and regret. However, expect those negative feelings to creep in and use this as an opportunity to identify what positive behavior changes you can make.

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it. — Maya Angelou

Second, when it comes to forgiveness, most of the time you are trying to make amends with someone so you can move forward. The same applies to self forgiveness. Making amends with yourself will help you learn to trust yourself again if you stopped. A great exercise I find helpful is to go in your bathroom, close the door, look in the mirror, and do something like this:

“[insert your name] and say: I’m sorry for allowing these things to happen to you. I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You deserve better. You deserve happiness. You deserve to find out what your purpose is on earth and live a happy life. I will create happiness for you starting now. I forgive you.. Moving forward, I will try my best everyday to give you what you deserve. I forgive myself. I am proud of myself for trying. I am who I need to be in this moment”.

I am who I need to be in this moment.

Third, allow yourself to feel all the feelings that come out of this moment. Sit with yourself, observe and acknowledge what comes up. Give yourself permission to cry, to yell, or sigh. Come out of that moment on top and with your head held high and a plan to move forward. You can also use the four R’s of forgiveness outlined in this article. They remind us of the importance of self forgiveness — Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration, and Renewal.

You can stay stuck, but where will that get you? Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has ups and downs. Everyone goes through heart break. Everyone has moments when they doubt their abilities. Learn from those good and bad experiences, acknowledge the events that took place, forgive YOU, and move on.