Choose Love Over Violence

People are so angry whether you are on the receiving end of gun violence, conducting the gun violence or are a bystander to the gun violence. We have been going through a lot for quite a while now, and especially in the last two and a half years and sadly it has changed the way we literally live.

Mentally and emotionally, many have been dealing with so much! Anxiety and depression can be residing in you or someone you know, and before we know it, it will be masked with anger. Experiencing mental illness is almost quite normal for us. Numbers are at an all time high.

You are not alone.

With that, self care has truly been dramatized and people have either jumped on the self care bandwagon and are finding that self care does not have to cost, OR people are refusing to “do self care” because everyone is doing it. So, here I am asking YOU, How are you taking care of yourself? How can you take better care of yourself? Is what you are doing now, hurting or helping you? Take a look at some of the habits you engage in daily, are they healthy habits or hurtful habits?

How you show up for yourself matters.

Jazzy Speaks

PAUSE!

It is time for us all to press PAUSE and really, truly, look within. Do your part for you! You matter. Your mental health matters. How you respond and react to the world around you matters. How you show up for yourself matters. How you show up for your significant other matters. How you show up for your kids matters. How you show up for your friends matters. How you show up for your co-workers matters. How you show up for a stranger… matters. What will you do THIS week, to take care of you? Check out my previous blog on self care tips for some ideas. Be well.

The best gift you can give yourself is love.

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25 Self Care Ideas to Kickstart Your New Self Care Routine

What do you do for self care?

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Self care is about self, you know the person you look in the mirror at daily? Yes, YOU! We tend to put ourselves at the bottom of our to do lists (or we are not even on the to do list at all) and neglect the need for filling up our cups. Self care is important because we cannot be our best selves for the family, friends, and co-workers around us if we are not taking time daily to care for ourselves. I know for me, in the past if I don’t make time for myself (at least ten minutes on a busy day) I will be no good to my family and will think about calling off work and curling up in my bed.

I approve of myself and love myself deeply and completely. I will make time for myself daily.

Jazzy Speaks

When you think about what would be on your list, think about those things that lift you up when you’re having a bad day, things that bring you joy, things that fill your emotional cup up in a way that no one else can.

Below you will find a list of 25 self care ideas that personally, I do myself. What works for me might not work for you. Check out this blog for additional tips. This list is just to help get you started or restarted on your self care routine. Remember, your goal is to find what works for you and stick to a routine. Consistency is key!

My favorite thing to do for self care is walking in nature with my son.

1. Cook breakfast for myself.
2. Do yoga. Switch it up and do yoga outside.
3. Listen to a favorite podcast or Ted Talk.
4. Wake up an hour before the entire household.
5. Turn on calming music and meditate (520 hz)
6. Meditate quietly
7. Take a long shower.
8. Do makeup.
9. Read a book.
10. Listen to a book on audible.
11. Scroll through funny videos on TikTok
12. Call a friend/family member who is not a Debbie downer but someone to lift spirits
13. Sit outside and listen to nature.
14. Go to the gym.
15. Complete a cycle class at the gym.
16. Go for a drive without a destination in mind.
17. Dress up and get cute without having a reason.
18. Bake a desert on my list and eat it!
19. Edit social media following. If they don’t bring me joy, DELETE.
20. Go for a walk.
21. Get a massage.
22. When grocery shopping, throw something in (a chocolate treat) for myself.
23. Cook a fancy steak dinner because I deserve a fancy meal.
24. Take a bath.
25. Watch a tv show that I am behind on.

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If you like what you are reading, please share, like and comment. Looking for other great topics? See recent blogs below.

• Choose Love Over Violence
  People are so angry whether you are on the receiving end of gun violence, conducting […]
• 25 Self Care Ideas to Kickstart Your New Self Care Routine
  Have you been neglecting yourself? It’s mental health awareness month and it is important for you to tap into yourself and what brings you joy in order to be your best self. Here are 25 Self Care ideas to kickstart you new self care routine.
• Five Things You Should Be Doing to Cope with COVID
  COVID has not been kind in many ways. Mental health is just as important as physical health during this time.
• Three Quick Self Esteem Boosters You Can Do In Your Car
  It all starts with believing that you can. We all have moments or days where we feel down about ourselves. Here are some quick self esteem boosters you can do in your car or anywhere to switch your mood and mindset.
• Car Pool Karaoke
  Sometimes you just need a concert in your car to lift your spirits from COVID.

Five Things You Should Be Doing to Cope with COVID

Mental health according to the World Health Organization, is “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community”. Since COVID, mental health has become less of a stigma. It honestly appears to have become a part of everyday conversation. People are asking or saying: “what are you doing for self care”, “how are you able to take care of yourself this week”, “did you take time for yourself today”, or “do something that brings you joy”.

Mental health…is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.”

Noam Shpancer, PhD

COVID has really taken a toll on many people all over the world mentally and has even resulted in some people’s death. Not only are those who test positive with COVID have other lasting effects physically from the virus, they are also affected mentally. Whether it be anxiety, guilt, depression, PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), or mood disorders, COVID can have a lasting effect mentally if we do not prepare ourselves and actively take care of ourselves now.

How can we avoid anymore people dying because they are mentally ill? COVID is still slowly killing from the virus and killing people mentally and emotionally because of feelings of loneliness, separation, grief and suicidal thoughts/ideations.

I am focused on my health.

Fight back!

Here are FIVE things you could and should be doing to cope with COVID, whether you have been affected physically by the virus or not:

1. Connect with family and friends. Now that some restrictions are lifted, plan a safe outing with family or friends. And continue to use FaceTime, Zoom, Whatapp, or your favorite video calling app to stay connected with friends and family.
2. Take a walk. Get out of the house! Physical activity is necessary especially for those of us that are still working from home.
3. Laugh! You know the saying: laughter is medicine. Find a comedy show, a stand up show, or your favorite social media comic.
4. Turn off the news! We all know we are living in trying times right now and we do not have to continue to pump the negativity into our heads. Take a break from reading and watching the news. Fill your head with positivity and good news!
5. Allow yourself to feel. Many times we find ourselves going through the motions and forgetting to stop. Spend some time reflecting with yourself and making sure that you are being intentional with how you feel and getting the best out of your life experience. If you need help with this, reach out to a therapist or coach to help you.

I refuse to let my mind bully my body.

Remember! COVID is not going to last forever. Take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually starting now. Tap into those things that brought you joy before COVID and DO THEM.

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Rest Your Eyes

One of my biggest supporters, is my mom. My mom has seen me since I was in her womb. The first thing she looked at when she saw me was my eyes. Many times our eyes say more than the words out of our mouths. This was sent to me by her as a reminder to rest, and I share with you also. Take a moment, close your eyes, rest, reflect, and enjoy a moment of peace.

I shut my eyes in order to see.

Paul Gauguin

Brown Eyes

Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical. – Sophia Loren

Your eyes, the windows to your soul, those beautiful brown dollops of color placed so strategically on your face.
Your eyes, that have seen so much, shed so many tears, smiled and laughed so much.
Your eyes work hard everyday to see, to observe, to watch, to read, to behold the beauty of each new sunrise and sunset.
As you live and love, your precious eyes and the soul and body they are attached to, remember to rest with sweet peace.

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Self Discovery Nugget 6: Forgive – 3 Steps

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The sixth nugget: Forgive Yourself in 3 Steps

Sometimes what is holding us back at being the best version of ourselves is the person we see when we look in the mirror. When was the last time you looked in the mirror and had a conversation with yourself?

First, you must accept responsibility for what has happened to you and for the things you have done. Being open and honest with yourself for what you have faced or are facing can be very challenging. You want to avoid feeling guilty, and regret. However, expect those negative feelings to creep in and use this as an opportunity to identify what positive behavior changes you can make.

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it. — Maya Angelou

Second, when it comes to forgiveness, most of the time you are trying to make amends with someone so you can move forward. The same applies to self forgiveness. Making amends with yourself will help you learn to trust yourself again if you stopped. A great exercise I find helpful is to go in your bathroom, close the door, look in the mirror, and do something like this:

“[insert your name] and say: I’m sorry for allowing these things to happen to you. I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You deserve better. You deserve happiness. You deserve to find out what your purpose is on earth and live a happy life. I will create happiness for you starting now. I forgive you.. Moving forward, I will try my best everyday to give you what you deserve. I forgive myself. I am proud of myself for trying. I am who I need to be in this moment”.

I am who I need to be in this moment.

Third, allow yourself to feel all the feelings that come out of this moment. Sit with yourself, observe and acknowledge what comes up. Give yourself permission to cry, to yell, or sigh. Come out of that moment on top and with your head held high and a plan to move forward. You can also use the four R’s of forgiveness outlined in this article. They remind us of the importance of self forgiveness — Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration, and Renewal.

You can stay stuck, but where will that get you? Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has ups and downs. Everyone goes through heart break. Everyone has moments when they doubt their abilities. Learn from those good and bad experiences, acknowledge the events that took place, forgive YOU, and move on.

Self Discovery Nugget 5: Be Vulnerable

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

The fifth nugget: Be Vulnerable

Be vulnerable and ask a trusted person for feedback. This one requires A LOT OF VULNERABILITY and it requires you TO LISTEN. You have to be willing to divide what you hear. That means take what you think can be helpful and let the rest be discarded. This is not an easy process and will take you time to learn how to accept all feedback given to you.

You can either become a victim or a student of the feedback you receive.

Seek out a trusted person who you feel knows you pretty well and ask them what they think about you. Ask them to give you the good, bad, and ugly because you want to know. Ask them what they think you can improve upon and work on to be a better version of yourself. You don’t just have to ask a trusted person, you can even ask an ex, a previous co worker, or someone you may have fallen out with years ago.

Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’M POSSIBLE!

Audrey Hepburn

Following receiving this feedback, you will need to sit with yourself and have deep self reflective conversations. You may hear things that you have neglected to be honest with yourself about in the past. The key is for you to stay in control of your feelings and how you respond. You can either become a victim or a student of the feedback you receive. This conversation is definitely helpful when relationships are ending, whether that’s friendships or love relationships. Having a growth mindset as this article beautifully describes, will help you go into and leave these conversations with grace, and a willingness to change what you think is necessary.

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Self Discovery Nugget 2: Sit

Now that we have the 7 steps to discovering your true self, let’s continue to dig deeper because I filled you up with so many valuable nuggets.

Nugget 2: Sit alone. Alone? Yes.

Reflect. Acknowledge. Speak.

Self discovery doesn’t happen with your friends, your co workers, your mom or your spouse/significant other. Set time aside to sit with yourself daily for 30 minutes. You are probably asking yourself why or what you’re supposed to do with that time. In that time look at where you’re at in life. Reflect. Acknowledge. Speak. Reflect on how you got to where you are now. Acknowledge your successful events and not so successful events. Speak life over yourself.

No matter how many people you have around you, at the end of the day you have to be the one to pick your own self up. No one can be a bigger cheerleader for you than YOU. Why are you here? Seriously. What is your purpose? Who are you? Being a mom, dad, spouse, friend are great and I also want you to really think about these questions. Are you living out your purpose? Are you committed to being a better version of yourself? There is always room for growth.

Failure is an event. It does not define who you are.

Remember, failure does suck but it does not define who you are. Failure is an event. It is not who you are. Failure is something that happens to you and for you. You have worth and you are here reading this. Therefore, you matter. Tell yourself, “this thing failed and I am not a failure”. Sit with it. Own it. And then plan for what your next steps will be.

To see the full blog I wrote on self discovery, click here.

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